What happens when your brain starts to function again?.... CHAOS

Everything has been a mess here! But I've finally found some time to sit in front of the computer today!

Between power outages, a crashing computer, my husband leaving for work (which a) we were NOT expecting and b) when he accepted the position he was literally on a flight up to Northern Alberta 2 days later), trade show planning, and my brain suddenly functioning again, things have been quiet chaotic with me, lol.

The weather here, well, everywhere, is insane this summer! Hot days and stormy nights, I think my power has gone out every single night the last 2 weeks. I've stopped re-setting the clocks. I've had luck on my side and haven't had a single bit of hail hit my garden, but the town next to mine hasn't been. All the trees and flowers were stripped down to nothing, siding and shingles damaged on all the buildings and houses. It's amazing what Mother Nature's fury can do. I find it humbling, a reminder that there will always be something more powerful, vengeful and controlling than we can ever imagine. It's amazing how something so beautiful can turn so ugly, and back again in the blink of an eye. (There have been a few days I have wished my garden was destroyed by the weather... Everything is literally growing faster than I can keep up with! Needless to say my neighbors are enjoying all the fresh produce they are getting from me lol).

Trying to get my Younique venture up and running is also taking a lot of time, even more so now that my brain function is coming back (haha. Seriously, I'm firing out ideas and plans like there's no tomorrow. It's almost ridiculous). I'm looking forward to a few trade shows, one in August for 3 days, which is also the FIRST trade show I have ever done :-) I really hope get some networking done and make some great connections with people. I love working, and I do miss it a lot. I feel lucky to have been able to take advantage of the opportunity I have working as an independent Younique presenter. It gives me the control and flexibility I need with having Narcolepsy, and trying to make a living at the same time.

I'm struggling slightly with being home alone now. I mean, I'm fine with being alone, that doesn't bother me. But I feel so disorganized and overwhelmed with everything now. Everything I try to get done just doesn't, or is undone so quickly it's like I never accomplished anything. The kid's and I are leaving for Grande Cache next week, and I'm panicking about packing bags and getting laundry done. Like, actually having anxiety attacks. It's not a huge deal, really, it's a simple task. My brain just doesn't want to focus on that, instead it wants to think about a zillion things all at once and overwhelm me; it's so bitter-sweet; I love that I can think clearly and get excited about a lot of what I'm thinking right now, but it's been so long I just don't know what to do with it all. There's so much to do and there's time to do it, but I can't find it or manage it well enough.Which bothers me, I'm usually a time Nazi!  Usually I am busy doing things around the house, but my brain is on auto-drive and I honestly don't even realize what I'm doing usually (thank you automatic behavior!lol). But now I'm aware of every little thing I am doing, like my brain has finally come out of it's Narcoleptic Coma, and all the stuff I would normally not care too much about doing MUST BE DONE . . I think I need Wade here to tell me to sit down and relax and stop thinking at some point during the day. To take the pen and paper out of my hands, or remind me that I DON'T HAVE to get whatever done RIGHT NOW.   I can't do it myself, obviously. But I have no choice but to figure out how, now with him working away from home (which is so awesome! We've been waiting for this opportunity for too long, and I am so proud of him for stepping up and sacrificing being home every night/spending time with his family and taking the opportunity he was given.) A total burn out is likely at some point, I know this for fact, unless I can get my brain back under control without sacrificing having "me" back. I don't want to let the rabbit out of the bag yet and say just why I believe my brain is "coming back", in case, like everything else, it's a temporary fix that will wear off in a few weeks. It's amazing though, the feeling of having the creativity that left so many years ago come flooding back like it never left! My brain has been in a fog for so many years, and everything coded and jumbled up making it senseless and useless to me for so long. I'm excited, but still acknowledge that this could be short lived. Maybe that's why I don't want to stop; I want to get as much creativity, ideas, plans, thoughts, ramblings, notes and sketches out of me as possible, just in case...